How to fold a tent.


Over before it started: Jack Leiter buried his team by allowing four first inning runs.

A handy guide to those trying to fold a tent after a long weekend of camping or a season going nowhere fast.

Step 1: Stuff: Your team has already given up multiple first-inning runs so the last eight innings of the game are unnecessary. Use that time productively to finish chores or do stuff that is mind-numbing and tedious but would still be more fun than watching your team go through the motions for the next eight innings of futility.

Step 2; Separate: Due to your team’s ownership’s reluctance to field a competitive, enjoyable team, separate your ability to care about the fate of your favorite team. Its owners have. Do not agonize over losses. They will be plenty. Separate your love of baseball from your fandom for a failing team. 

Step 3: Poles and Stakes: This team is going nowhere, so the stakes are very low. If you do have a masochistic urge to watch them, rid your surroundings of poles or other potentially sharp objects that you will be compelled to impale yourself with after seeing your starting pitcher allow more runs in the first inning of a game than your team has the capacity to score in all nine innings. Remember, it’s just a game that your team happens to be very bad at.

For more handy tips on folding your tent, check out the Rangers nightly how-to videos.

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